Don't Leave Me
by salatuh
Summary: Edward always thought he loved his little brother, Robert, as just a little brother. But after a horrific event in the woods, both brothers begin to question their brotherly relationship. warnings:incest! yaoi! M/M, drug/alcohol abuse. please review!
1. Chapter 1

I remember when little Rob and I were just kids, maybe 8 and 12, and we went on our first hiking trip with Mom and Dad up in the mountain side. I remember it was in autumn...

It was a brisk september day and the sun was hiding behind the clouds, slivers of its rays would shine down on us while we trecked up the steep path to the sound of rushing water. I heard our father's bellowing voice over the sound of the waterfall;

"Hey kids, you can go ahead"- light snickered were exchanged between our parents before he continued -"Mom and I are going to go look for some drinking water down here". It didn't make sense, since we were heading towards a waterfall, but I let it go and moved forward.

"Almost there, little bro", I said as I patted Robert on the back. He panted and nodded with a diligent smile that graced his lips.

We had reached the summit and i watched as my brother sat on a mossy rock and take off his shoes and socks, letting his bare feet dangle off the side, skimming teh icy water's surface. The sun kissed his

pale face, so much like my own, except for his blues eyes, which held a mysterious aura of luring wisdom within them. I remember he started to hum, his chin resting on his crossed arms, propped up by one knee.

"What're you humming?" I asked, walking over to the rock and sitting beside him. Robert looked to me and bashfully smiled.

"I dunno, just kinda made it up. Reminds me of the water", his head turned back to the falls, the wind blew in our coal- black hair, the same color as my eyes.

"It's nice", I whispered, and enjoyed the peaceful stillness while my little brother continued his tune about the water. It really was nice. I gently laid an arm around his shoulders, and he leaned in next to me.

We both sighed in unison. It felt so wonderful to have that brotherly bond without any words needing to be said. We just lived in each others' presence, one feeding off of the other's warmth. I kissed the top of his head

before resting my chin on it, closing my eyes as I took another deep breath. And then it began to rain- thunder, lightning, the works.

In the distance the faint sound of our parents' calls to us where heard...along with their constant giggling. "Oh no! (hahaha!) Kids?"....

"Rain, rain, rain!" Robert cheerfully cried while dancing on the rock. I jumped off and looked to him with worried and impatient eyes.

"Robert, get down from there! You might hurt yourself!" That's when it happened- the fall. With a shrill scream, Rob slipped off and fell into the freezing water, his fingers the only grippage he had to land.

"Eddie! Help me Eddie!" His voice was terrified, his eyes were opened wide and brimming with tears. I quickly came to his aide, nearly slipping off the mossy rock as well when i climbed onto it. I extended my

arms out to him.

"I'm coming! Grab onto me, Rob."- He did as he was told, gripping to my elbows as i did to him. It was raining so hard, the droplets seemed to make it even harder to hold onto him, as Robert slipped out of

my grip. He screamed that spine shocking scream once again as he slammed against the side of the rock. I thought I heard something crack. I reached for him again in a struggling effort to save him. He reached for

my shirt this time, as I caught on to his sleeves and pulled him out. -"I gotcha Rob, mmph!" Robert landed smack dab on top of me, cold, soaked and shivering, much like myself, as he clung to my warmth. I

wrapped my arms around him, and pushed us both up into a sitting position, Robert on my lap.

"Eddie, my-my hip h-hurts", he sniffled into my shoulder. I slowly and carefully lifted up his drenched blue fleece jacket and saw the bloody slash above his right hip. I stifled a gasp with my free left hand and

held onto him tighter...that was the crack I had heard earlier.

"R-Robert, it's gonna be okay." He looked up to me with eyes strangely calm, yet still holding a slight hint of fear. I carried him in my arms, bridal style, and began to run towards the sound of my parents'

obnoxious laughing.

I grimaced at the scene infront of me. I felt Robert move his face deeper into my chest as he saw both of our parents, stark naked in the middle of the woods, drunk as hell.

"There you 4 are...we were lllooking allll over for you.." I looked for my dad's pants and found his wallet.

"We're going to the hospital.. Apparently you two can't drive in this condition so I'm calling a cab, okay?" Robert held tighter around my neck. My mother turned around and dry heaved a few times before

turning back to us and speaking in a slurred voice;

"Why'r you goiinnng tothehossible? It's Thanksgiving! Nobody goestothe hossible on Thanksgivving.." She threw up again and my dad just laughed. I felt my anger beginning to overflow in me.

"Because my brother has cracked a hip bone, got it?! And you two are a bunch of lousy drunks who would rather lay here naked in the middle of nowhere than spend time with your kids to notice."- my voice

was trembling with anger. They all looked at me, dumbfounded, even Robert. -"Happy Thanksgiving, we're leaving." And we were off to the hospital.

"E-Eddie?" I heard the faint whisper fall from my little brother's lips. His grip was loosening from around my neck. My arms wound tighter around his legs and shoulders while I answered him.

"What is it Rob? We're almost out of the woods..."- He kept breathlessly repeating my name, and then it stopped. I felt my eyebrows crease in worriement -"Rob? Can you hear me? Speak louder",- I stopped

by a tree and sat down, my back pressed against the moist red wood. I petted his slightly toussled hair and attempted to shake him awake. -"Rob, say something!" His eyelids fluttered open and looked up to me. His

arms weakly wrapped themselves around the back of my head, bringing me closer to his angelic face. We were mere centimeters apart, I could feel his shallow breaths blow onto my paling face. I shocked the both of

us with what i did next; without warning, I pulled him down further, my forcefull lips against his shaking ones. It was over just as suddenly as it had begun. We stared into each others eyes for an immeasurable

amount of time, until Robert brought himself to faintly press his lips to my cheek before his arms began to lose their grip around me. My breath hitched at the contact.

"Eddie, don't leave me", he breathed before falling into a fainting spell, his blood was quickly beginning to seep through the makeshift bandage I had wrapped around his hip with my own beige fleece jacket. I

gulped and finally got up, carefull to gently lift Robert with me. I couldn't understand what had just happened between us. I didn't know what came over me at that moment...why I did what I did.

"I-I'm here", I whispered to my fainting brother, and walked on to the end of the trail towards the parking lot.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N**: sorry about not posting an author's note before. This story is my first post on fan fiction, so please be easy on me when you review review! I love to know what you all think of it.  I never gave a real summary did I? I was inspired after this really crazy dream I had about two brothers…I couldn't think of any way to vent it out than to expand on my dream….so…on to the next chapter of the expansion!  This chapter's kind of just plot to get things out of the way so bare with me….I promise there'll be more…exciting things later on 

**Disclaimer**: I own the plot and the characters 

………………………………………………………………………………………………

I felt so alone in the surgery waiting room, just waiting…waiting for Robert to get out of surgery, waiting for my hot chocolate to cool just enough that I wouldn't burn my tongue, waiting for my parents to call, to say they were on their way to make sure their two sons were all right. I couldn't get the image out of my head, of what I'd done to my innocent little brother, of what he did after. The kiss kept playing in my head over and over again...it sent electric shocks up and down my spine, just thinking about it. I gently put my fingers to my lips and closed my eyes as the tears slowly trickled down my cheeks and congregated at the edge of my chin, until two great droplets dripped off and fell onto my lap. _Gosh, Rob…I'm so scared…_

"Edward Long?" I jumped in shock, and spilled the scorching hot drink all over my nearly dried khakis when I heard my name called by the male nurse. I got up, sniffled, and nodded up to him as he propped open the door to the E.R. "Follow me", he said over his masculine shoulder, swiftly and purposefully walking past the beds filled with aching and moaning people, and through another set of spotless white doors, clipboard in hand. My palms were clammy and sweating, looking at all of the helpless patients in pain and agony, with someone at their side who was at least 18, an adult. And there was me, a 12 year old boy who barely hit puberty, walking down hospital corridors with some male nurse to go see my post-op brother who was even younger than me…and I had to take care of him, I had to be the one to charge him out and take him home…I had to pay the cab driver an extra $200 to pretend to be my father on the phone for the E.R. receptionists to check Rob in… I was all he had.

I nearly ran into the nurse when he abruptly stopped in front of a room doorway.

"Is this Rob's room?" I asked, slightly out of breath. He nodded his head and put a finger to his mouth advising me to stay quiet. I nodded my head in return and slowly turned to look inside the grey room. His bed stood awkwardly in the middle of the single-patient room, the blue and white scotch-patterned curtains pulled to the side, leaving Robert in my full view. Another nurse was at his side, reapplying an IV needle into his outstretched and bruising left arm. I cleared my throat to get her attention. She didn't look up when she answered in her frustrated tone, eyebrows knitted together.

"His veins are awfully hard to find, I'll tell you that", she tried once again to insert the needle with her experienced, wrinkled and suntanned hands. He lay there, pale as a ghost, still unconscious from the anesthesia given to him during his hip replacement surgery. _God, a hip replacement_…I shook my head to get rid of the light-headed feeling that threatened to overcome me.

"Meh…" My head immediately shot up to the sound of Robert's soft whimper.

"There's a good one, haha starting to stir are we?" The nurse slowly got up after finally hitting a vein and checking the IV. She sighed and put her hands on her hips and finally turned toward me. "You can come closer, dear." She pushed up her glasses as I slowly walked toward Robert's bed. I unclenched my clammy hands and attempted to smile up to her. I sat down by his bed, but kept my head low; afraid of the pain I might see on his face. The nurse wrote something on her clipboard and then left it on the foot of the bed. "Well my name is Nancy; I'll be your…" she checked the clipboard then set it back down "brother's nurse here tonight. So, you can just press this here," Nancy pointed her long index finger to a red call button located on the side of the hospital bed. I nodded my head and looked down at my hands folded in my lap. "Ok then, visiting hours end at 10, so you have about an ho-"

"I'm not leaving tonight. I'm staying over." I raised my head and stared hard at her face. She raised an eyebrow and fixed her glasses on the bridge of her long and crooked nose. I felt my cheeks burn red from looking at her hard in the eye; something I never do, and I put my head down once again.

"All right then, Mr. Long. I'll be back in to check up around 11." She closed the curtains around us and left, muttering something about stubborn children under her breath.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

It was just the two of us in the room, a blue and white curtain encircling us.

"Eddie..;" I finally found the courage to look up to my brother when he called my name. His eyes were half lidded, pupils still dilated from the drugs. He looked parched, even though he was getting water through a tube into his veins… I had to look away from him; I didn't want him to see me wipe away the tears that came to my eyes. "U ok, Eddie?" I sniffled and turned back, putting on a brave smile. He surprisingly smiled back, even though I could see he was in pain, if his clenching fists were anything to go by…

"Yeah, the real question is if you are. You hurting still?" He weakly nodded his head and softly chuckled.

"It's ok…." His eyes closed for a few moments before he caught his breath and sighed. "What happened, Eddie?" I got up to get him some water from the sink. I didn't know how to answer his question, so I just went with the basics; summary. I sat back down, put his bed into a sitting position, and put the cup to his lips. He tiredly closed his eyes as he drank and listened.

"You slipped off the rock, we went to the hospital… you had to get your hip replaced- hey, Rob! You okay?" He choked on his water at the last thing I said. I put the water down on the removable table and lightly patted his back to get the stuck water out of his throat. "I was afraid of that…" I tried to lighten the mood with a chuckle. He wouldn't have any of it…

"What. Do. You. Mean. I. Had. My. Hip replaced?! Where are Mom and Dad?! I wanna go home! Ow!-"Robert tried to get up from his bed, pulling on his IV in the process. I lightly pushed him back down on the bed with my hands and stood beside him. I saw blood bleed into the white hospital sheets above his hip.

"Rob, calm down…I think you opened up the stitches." I looked up to his wide eyes and breathed deeply. He gulped and nodded his head. Slowly, I pulled the sheet away, then his hospital gown to the side. I closed my eyes before looking down. I stifled a gasp and pressed the call button. "Okay, Nancy should be in soon, everything will be okay, all right?" I looked up to him, his face drained of all color, and jaw dropped in shock. We both had this insane fear of blood, and Robert was basically draining his blood all over the bed.

"Eddie, I don't feel so well…" After covering him back up, I went back and sat by his side, giving him some more water to drink.

"You'll be fine…they'll fix it…" I didn't feel to well myself.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

"Is everything all right?" Nancy pulled back the curtains and heavily sighed when she saw the blood-stains everywhere on the bed. "Hmm…opened up, I see. Don't worry…we just need to remove these bandages-"Robert and I gasped in unison at the image of a bunch of bloody stitches pulled out…I felt really dizzy at that moment. "Blood fainters, huh? Hehehe", Nancy chuckled to herself about both of us queasy at the sight of blood, and then pulled out a bunch of surgical tools to begin the restitching.

"Eddie, can you hold my hand? I'm scared…" I reluctantly opened my eyes; careful not to look down at the bandages…or what else was down there…and lightly grabbed his hand with the tube in it. He was shaking. I tried to put on a courageous smile for my Robert and talk about random things as Nancy pulled out the ripped stitches, which made him flinch every time she plucked with her tweezers.

"Hey, what's your favorite pokemon? - Pluck- Do you still watch Power Rangers? –Pluck- It's ok, Rob, she's almost done...-Pluck…"

"Okay, going to put the new ones in…"

I sat there, holding his shaking hand, and looking at his scared-to-death face, trying not to think about kissing him right then and there with Nurse Nancy in the room…His eyes were shut tight and his grasp got painfully tight around my hand when he began talking in a voice full of discomfort…

"Eddie, can you do what you did to me at the trail? It made me not scared…" My breath caught in my throat when he asked that question…he warily opened his eyes when I didn't respond…

"D-do what, Rob?" I dared to even ask that. I looked over to Nurse Nancy who was getting a light anesthetic injection ready to poke into Robert's side…_needles_….

"…Mom and Dad were doing the same thing in the woods…-"

Nurse Nancy looked up at me, completely skeptical, and I felt my eyes were the size of saucers…I made something up, right on the spot…

"You mean swing you around like an airplane? I can't do that…you can't move…"

"Nonono, the other thing…" I laughed, pretending he meant a silly little brother thing, just to get the nurse off of my back about thinking anything suspicious…which it would've been if she knew what I really did to him…

"The other thing is a secret handshake…we don't do that in front of other people…okay?" I smiled to him; even with his furrowed and frustrated eyebrows…he nodded his head, pouting. Rob was so adorable….

"All right, all done, young man. Don't get up or bend over for ANY reason, got it, mister? You just let your brother do it for you, okay?" We both nodded our heads in agreement; just glad she was leaving, so the awkward moment would be over… She smirked and left once again, closing the curtains behind her.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

Robert threw me an irritated glance.

"What?" I smirked. He sighed heavily and looked up to me.

"I want a secret handshake…" I gulped and turned red.

"Why? Isn't Nurse Nancy done stitching you back up?" I saw him turn red as well while he answered.

"Yah…but… I'm still scared…" My head wrinkled, confused.

"What are you scared of?" I laughed nervously.

"Can I just please have one? And pretend that I'm scared? It made me feel better, and I don't feel good, Eddie…" _That makes the two of us_, I thought. We stared at each other for who knows how long. I gulped once again and breathed out…

"Rob…a secret handshake isn't…" I hesitated for a moment, seeing the confusion in his eyes.

"Isn't what, Eddie?" His voice sounded discouraged and nervous. I sighed and continued. He didn't know that it was wrong, he didn't know what it meant, even if he wanted it…if we both wanted it. I put my head down.

"It isn't what brothers are supposed to be doing. It's… wrong, only moms and dads are supposed to have secret handshakes…"

I pulled my head up, and saw that I wasn't the only one with tears in his eyes. I sniffled and held back a sob…god, I was so pathetic…

"Eddie" I hardened my face and he began to cry harder. "No… please, Eddie." Robert reached out for me with his free hand, trying to touch my face. I placed it back down on the bed and turned my face away from him. I couldn't let this happen; and I couldn't let such a wrong and immoral thing take place between us. I had to protect him.

"You'll understand when you're older"- he just sobbed harder, I didn't know what to do to calm him down. His voice was broken when he spoke again.

"Why-sob- are you- sob- doing this to-sob- me, Eddie?" His words made my heart sink.

"R-rob, please, just stop crying", I looked up to him and placed my unsteady hand on his tearstained cheek. He sniffled and leaned into the palm of my hand. I let out a shaky breath and leaned in.

"Eddie?" He looked up to me…his eyes were so innocent. I hoped that I wouldn't regret what I was about to do next.

"One… secret handshake… just please… stop crying…" We were centimeters apart; I felt his still shallow breaths blow against my face. His free hand reached around my neck. I brushed my lips softly against his. I felt him hum, the vibrations made my mouth tickle. A shudder ghosted through me and I pulled away. I opened my eyes and smirked at him; mouth curled into a closed smile, his eyes still closed, and humming… he looked so tranquil… "You okay, Rob?" He opened his eyes and sniffled.

"Mhmm…" I tried to smile back. Robert quirked his head to the side in confusion. "You okay?"

_Was I?... _I sighed, shrugged my shoulders, and attempted once again to grin.

"Yah, I'm fine," His face glowed and I felt his hand grab mine. I slipped my hand away and stood up. "You should get some sleep". I began tucking him in while he hummed his little tune.

"Okay, Eddie," he yawned and his eyes began to droop. I stood beside him on the other side of the bed, over his head. He looked up to me and smiled. "Thanks, Eddie. I like your secret handshakes" I breathed in deeply and ruffled his raven colored hair.

"Thanks, Rob. But you can't tell anyone okay? Or else it's not a _secret_ handshake." He nodded his head and smiled up to me once more. He yawned once again before speaking

"I love you," I smiled. My heart felt just a bit lighter when he said those words. His eyes closed and I kissed the top of his head and whispered "I love you too," against his cool skin. _I love you more than I should…but this is all I can give you…_

………………………………………………………………………………………………

**A/N**: okay so that's the end of this chapter! I hope you all enjoyed reading it!  Plllleaaassseee review! Sorry it took me a while to put this one up, I'll try to have a new chapter up weekly. See you soon!


End file.
